Gifting

Yesterday, I was browsing xoJane, when I was (slightly shocked) to find this very controversial article, originally titled "A Third Of The People Who Attended My Wedding Didn't Give Me A Gift - What's Up With That?" You can have a read of the article - it's very interesting! - or you can trust me to give you the highlights. Basically, the author got married a little over a year ago and is very perplexed as to why a third of her guests didn't give her a gift. Although she admits that she felt guilty for getting upset about it, she still goes on to describe particular wedding guests who she feels "owe" her a gift and yet did not deliver.

I then read the comments section and was surprised to find that a lot of people agreed with the author - that when you throw a wedding, you are owed a gift. A lot of people agreed actually. Part of my job at work is to help others create wedding invitations. More often than I'd like to admit, I get asked by customers how to ask for particular gifts (especially cash) on the invitation. Why? Because they expect a gift and they want to direct people towards the right kind of gifts.

Here's the thing. A wedding gift is just that - a gift. Not a payment, or a "token of appreciation" for the honor of being invited to the wedding. I guess I'm bringing this up as a bride as well as someone who works (partially) in the wedding industry. I want to give couples a gift because I love them, and want to show them that I love them by giving them a gift that reflects my relationship with them and their personalities. My parents still have pieces that they received for wedding presents that my mom will tell me, "Oh, so-and-so gave me that. I never would have thought I wanted it, but I use it all the time." I want to be so-and-so who gave them that awesome mini food processor that has lasted a zillion years. I want to be so-and-so who gave them that beautiful painting that still hangs in their living room. Have a read of the article and let me know what you think about our gift-giving culture. I'd love to know your thoughts!

- H